Jack of All Philosophies, Master of None?

So I was thinking today, and talking to Douglas about Stuff.  You know, life kinda Stuff.

The conversation turned toward worshipping the messenger instead of the message.  (This is a reference to Science of Mind and the view that many Christians worship Jesus, and not his message). Anyway, Byron Katie was Douglas’s example.  It got me to thinking about how I have a Jack-of-all-Trades mentality about some spiritual teachings.  I tend to not dive deep into any one philosophy but to take bits of each and use them as they seem relevant.

What does that say about me?  Heck, I don’t know. From a more universal view, perhaps our world would be more peaceful if more people adopted this outlook.  But it works for me, now, at this time in my life.

So many philosophies seem to require us to leave our innate humanity, and the human experience behind, yet my inner voice says to embrace it.  Live.  Live life to the fullest, but do it mindfully, thoughtfully. But still Live it.  And in the process of living it, and being mindful, the lessons will still be there, but be hands on and not out of a book.  And this is how I learn best.  I am an experiential learner, always have been.

And yes, there are those who say people like me are not smart enough to learn from others mistakes, but must make our own.  Perhaps some truth to that, but would you  rather emulate or learn from or be mentored by someone who learned something in a book, or someone who lived it?  What does that say?

That the lesson, the skill, the experience is more fully learned when experienced first hand.  Of course not EVERYTHING should be learned this way.  But Life – most certainly! It is not a spectator sport.

I made a difference for someone today

I have a friend who has a history of some bad stuff that happened with her two younger sisters and other family.  What happened was long ago, the parties all sought the help they needed, asked forgiveness and moved on.  Except for one sister, who seems to need to live in her story.  She seeks to continue to punish my friend for things that were out of her control, and not even within her knowledge,  ad infinitum.

I wrote my friend a letter about an exercise I have done with many people in my life who’ve become toxic to me, or created great pain.  It seems to be the catalyst for her to let go.  I made a difference today.  I will attach the letter sans names.  Perhaps there are those in cyber-land (dating myself here) that might find value in it also

I can’t help but feel how much pain you are in from your texts.  I’ve been there too. I have an exercise for you to do tonight when you are by yourself with no distractions or demands…some quiet time.
I want you to write your sister a letter. I want you to say everything you’ve ever wanted to say to her, unedited, no punctuation, or paragraphs or spell checks necessary. You can think of it as a mental dump and purge.  Use any kind of language you want.  Tell her your side that she doesn’t want to hear, tell her about how you’ve turned it around, tell her you’re sorry, that life goes on, that she’s selfish and cowardly and scared of life and hiding behind her story so that she can’t even live  a real life.  Tell her she has to believe someone else’s story because she’s too afraid to write her own.  Tell her she’s selfish in keeping her kids from you, and self-righteousness is a sign of fear and weakness, real strength comes from forgiveness and embracing that which frightens you and angers you.  Tell her she hasn’t had an honest day with herself in way too many years.  Tell her whatever is in your heart with whatever language makes you feel it.  Have a good rant.  Keep typing till you’re done.  10 minutes, an hour, two hours.  You’ll know when you’re done.  Then leave it for awhile and go do something else.  I guarantee you’ll be tired, but much much lighter.
Then go back and write about all the things you’ve overcome, turned around, made better, succeeded at; how you are a good person who is brave with a loving and forgiving heart.  Make a list.  Have your husband add to it if you want.  List every kind, good, brave, courageous, forgiving, positive thing you’ve ever felt, done or been.  Read it back to yourself out loud.
Then see yourself, and see your sister for who each of you truly are.  Who would you want for a friend?
Later, if you want, you can edit the letter and send it to your sister, or you can delete or print it and burn it, your choice.  But see her for who she is (and isn’t).  Try to release all the anger, resentment and sadness surrounding her, forgive her for the hurt she’s caused, and accept her as the very damaged (by her own choosing), shut down person she is.  She’s trying but this is the best she can do right now.  Her life is her own choice, you can only accept and leave her to it.
If you feel there is a place for her in your life where she does not create pain for you, then you can go with it.  If not, bless her on her path, wish her well and release her.  Your other sister just  wants to fix it and make it all better, and she will have to learn that we each have to fix our own lives, we can’t fix others.  She too will have to find peace in what you decide.  You hold the cards here – choice and attitude.
Ok, a little longer and more rambling and ranty than I’d intended, but I mean every word.  I hope this helps and you realize what an awesome person you are.  She said you made your choices, and you did – forgiveness, second chances, hope and love.  I think they are all awesome choices!
Isn’t that what life is about?  Trying to make a difference in a positive way?

…in the beginning

IMG_1414-MWell, actually, I’ve had this blog for awhile, I just never did anything with it. I think I have a Blogger acct also, but I’ll have to look for that one. At this time I just want this to be a place to put my thoughts. Its rather scarey to commit them online. Who knows who might read them? In the past I’ve kept journals just for my own viewing, and used them mostly as a means of venting. But lately I’ve had lots more ramblings that are observations.jpegScottNash7-Ti I’ve been encouraged by several friends to actually commit to something like this. So this is The Beginning.

Its been quite a day in many ways, I made a major life decision, and turned away from a known and well trod path, down one that carries much more risk and uncertainty, but promises to be one of growth, adventure and hopefully purpose. It made me sad that my choice made someone else very sad and hurt, but I can only hope that he grows and learns from our time together, and moves on. But it is his choice now.

It was truly one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done – chosen my own well being over the wishes of someone else, someone I care deeply for. I have never done that before. I am sad that he is sad, but I truly KNOW in my heart that it is right. It is the path less taken, and many people I know will not understand. How can I choose possibility over security? Because life is the journey. And I choose one of passion, adventure, and growth. And hopefully opportunities to use my gifts for the betterment of humanity.  I am very grateful for the time we had together.  I hope we helped each other grow, and gave each other some good memories to cherish.  And now I once again look forward.